Like A Boss

You know how when you were a little kid and you
believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be,
white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on
a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you
had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince
Char…ming, they were so close you could taste
them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the
fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they
can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely
cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that
one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

~Grey’s Anatomy

#Grey's Anatomy #Dahil Mas Masarap Paring Maging Bata #:3 #Parang may mali kasi

1 week ago on 05/23/12 at 06:56am

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Yung Feeling Na Nakasama Mong Mamasyal Yung Crush mo Buong Araw, hoho! :D

#F-U-N #May Girlfriend Na Siya Pero :D

2 weeks ago on 05/16/12 at 04:22am

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The Heart Has Reasons Of Its Own, Which Reasons Itself Does Not Know.

#Supreme Court #Chua Vs. Clave 1990 #Yung Totoo Please? Hahahahaha! #Seriously?! #:D

2 weeks ago on 05/16/12 at 04:14am

Nasa bangka ka with your PLASTIC FRIEND and your MANLOLOKONG EX. Sino pipiliin mong i-save? Yung BANGKA o yung SAGWAN? :D

#Ate Belle #Bitter #:D #Dahil Nakasama Ko ANg Kras Ko Buong Araw :D

2 weeks ago on 05/16/12 at 03:47am

“The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.” - Audrey Hepburn ♥

#:3 #Kowts Daw #Gudnyt!

2 weeks ago on 05/15/12 at 08:40am

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1 - Who’s the last person you talked to on phone?

~Si Uncle Norman (nagtatanong nanaman ng school stuffs)

2 - When is your birthday?

~March 14

3 - Who do you want to be with right now?

~Family (as in, lalo na si daddy ko)

4 - What sports do you play?

~Actually, takot ako sa lahat ng bola but I join marathons ganun :3

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts?

~My sister

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment?

~Say by John Mayer

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?

~Yung mga winners sa survivor para sure na susurvive ako gamit ang skills nila :))

8 - What do you feel right now?

~Nothing :DD

9 - What chocolate is your favorite?

~Wala eh, di ako mahilig pero basta may almonds na kasama titirahin ko

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?

~2

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account?

~para cute :D. natuwa kasi ako parang online diary :3

12 - Who is your favorite blogger?

~none as of the moment :)

13 - Where do you want to be right now?

~sa Greece, hoho~

14 - What do you want to be in the future?

~Kung pwede maging neurosurgeon or cardiologist pero di kakayanin di successful na tao na lang :)

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why?

~Last Night, na miss ko si daddy ko eh after watching the video :D

16 - Are you happy?

~Definitely!

17 - Who do you miss?

~My dad

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?

~No

19 - What was the best thing you were given?

~Ahm, yung privilege siguro para makapag-aral

20 - Who was the last person who called you?

~Yung tito ko nga :3

21 - What is your favorite dish?

~Ahm, Asian cuisines :)

22 - Who is your bestfriend?

~Kris, My ate, Ynnahcorn, Gal Denver, Lady Mae (cute noh?)

23 - What is your biggest regret?

~Not saying and showing how much I love my parents while they are still here

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner?

~Never

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?

~Madami eh, kahit sino naman basta willing mang-trip

26 - Name someone pretty.

~Sarah

27 - Who was the last person you hugged?

~Ate Deb

28 - What kind of music do you listen to?

~Any, am not choosy

29 - Are you over your past?

~Definitely

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts?

~Zossimo

31 - What kind of person do you want to date?

~Someone na ay ewan - mahirap i describe :3

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night?

~None, tulog mantika kay ako :3

33 - From whom was the last text message you received?

~Khalr

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?

~JEANS

35 - How’s your heart?

~Ayun, nagpa-pump pa rin ng dugo at nami-maintain ang function niya

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?

~Yes

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment?

~WULA EH.

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?

~Hello! I hope you’re doing fine, wishing you happiness! :)

39 - Do you have any phobias?

~Yep, sobrang dami - chickens, cats, dogs

40 - Did you try to change for a person?

~parang yes, kasi most of the time I do it for myself naman

41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone?

~my heart - charing! hahah! Material? ahm, gloves siguro (ang mahal kaya at pinaipunan ko yun :3)

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?

~No

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?

~or? haha! GOOD

44 - Name someone you can’t live without.

~My sister

45 - Describe your dream date.

~Sa beach or sa hanging restaurant

46 - Describe your dream wedding.

~Sa church of course, basta I want it to be simple pero memorable. yung ‘fairytale’ eksena

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?

~around 3 I guess - di ko binilang

48 - Have you ever been kissed?

~yes

49 - How long is your longest relationship?

~one year & 6 months

50 - Do you regret your past?

~no

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?

~Maybe

52 - Have you ever cried over someone?

~oo naman

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?

~none

54 - Are you a crybaby?

~yes :3

55 - Do people praise you for your looks?

~yep.

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?

~di pa naman

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?

~yes, hihi

58 - Do you like getting hurt?

~No. tanga ba tong question na to?

59 - Does anyone hate you?

~I don’t know, ask them

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?

~no

61 - What hair color do you prefer?

~Dark brown

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?

~siguro yung attitude ko

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?

~yep

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?

~no

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?

~none

66 - Can you live without internet?

~yes, hahahahahahah~

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?

~wala eh, hahahaha! utang ko ‘to :3

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?

~at times

69 - Are you a crybaby?

~yes nga

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?

~di pa naman

71 - Are you a KPOP fan?

~no

72 - Do you study hard?

~for the board exam, yes

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?

~yep

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?

~yes. nostalgic :3

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?

~yeo

76 - Did you have an accident last year?

~oo, hahaha~ nadali ng friday the 13th

77 - What kind of person are you?

~I’m jolly basta full of energy

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?

~no

79 - Have you ever been jealous?

~yes

80 - How can you prove your love to someone?

~pinaparamdam ko by actions

81 - What are you thinking right now?

~thinking of finishing the questions, ang dami kaya

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?

~si annalee

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?

~none

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?

~yes

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone?

~di pa naman

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?

~yes, :D

87 - Do you have trust issues?

~Ay sobra, define it

88 - Are you broken-hearted?

~no

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”?

~wala ngay, nakakainis na nga eh

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it?

~no, sino ba ang gustong masaktan :3 pero it helped me to be be strong naman (corny)

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?

~yes, with actions of course

92 - Who do you want to marry?

~wala pa eh

93 - Do you believe in destiny?

~no

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?

~no

95 - How do you look right now?

~eto pogi~ :D

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies?

~maybe, yes

97 - Have you found your true love?

~no

98 - What should you be doing right now?

~sleeping

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.

~john, uriel

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

~no

#Walang Magawa Eh #Ang isang daang tanong #:D

2 weeks ago on 05/12/12 at 11:49am

Don’t break my heart before I give it to you
Don’t tell me no before I ask you to
Don’t say it doesn’t fit before you try it on
There’s too much to lose to be wrong

And it feels like there’s something here
But I wanna see it, before it disappears
And if there’s something real between me and you
Well are we both open to…

All these possibilities?
So many little possibilities
Right in front of us
Close enough to touch
But far enough to hide
Some time to see…

All these possibilities
These possibilities
Are written in the stars
We are who we are, baby
And I can’t help but think that possibly
There’s possibility

Don’t give me hope if there’s nothing to this
Don’t let me in if you’re not there
What I’m feeling doesn’t happen everyday
So baby, please play fair

And it feels like there’s something more
Than those crazy little crushes I felt before
When you’re moving closer I can feel the rush
And now we’re so close we can touch…

All these possibilities
So many little possibilities
Right in front of us
Close enough to touch
But far enough to hide
Some time to see…

All these possibilities
These possibilities
Are written in the stars
We are who we are, baby
And I can help but think that possibly
There’s possibility

#A Cinderella Story Once Upon a Song #Possibilities #Nakikikanta lang #:3

2 weeks ago on 05/12/12 at 11:02am

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Para Kang SM —- ‘Coz You Got It All. :D

#Banat #:D #goodnight! #:))

2 weeks ago on 05/12/12 at 09:18am

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“Don’t lose yourself,” the old, bedridden man said. I was four or five at the time, and my family was visiting him. To be honest, I can’t remember his name or how we knew him. But two decades later, his words haunted me as I lay paralysed on my bed and struggled to come to terms with my life.

For years, I had suffered from depression. The first incident I can remember happened when I was 14. As I walked to my home in Singapore after school one day, I was overcome with the urge to sit in a corner and weep. I barely managed to reach our flat before bursting into tears. These overwhelming, unexplained feelings frightened me.

By the time I was 16, these outbursts were happening about once a month. Most of the time I lived my life normally, but then my mind seemed to take a life of its own. Initially they happened for no reason, but now everything became a reason – a frown from a teacher, first prize for an essay, a long queue at a canteen stall. It didn’t matter whether the incidents were happy, sad or indifferent, all would be twisted by my mind into something horrible.

One incident I recall vividly was a call from a friend. After we chatted for a while, she said she had to go because her mum was calling her. I spent the next two days agonising over whether she had hung up because she hated me. It was like a demon had possessed my mind. And all the while a little voice in my mind kept telling me how worthless, hopeless and stupid I was.

For the most part, I kept all this a secret because I was scared and confused. I remember once trying to explain what was happening to my friend Ani*, but I couldn’t find the right words to express myself and eventually gave up.

Not that my friends were completely unaware of my problems. More than once they tried to talk to me about my difficult home life. My father subjected my two younger sisters and me to terrible verbal abuse, and my mother did little to support us, or even look after us. I now realise my family problems were a major factor in my depression, but at the time I denied anything was wrong.

When I was 17, I concluded that the only way to stop my suffering was simply not to feel anything. This wasn’t difficult because I was overwhelmed with my studies, two part-time jobs and looking after my sisters. I had no time to think, much less feel.

At first the numbness was a huge relief from the mood swings, but it wasn’t long before I realised that there was a vast emptiness in my heart. I could feel no joy, hope or pain. It got to a point where I would cut myself just to feel something.

I had become afraid of being by myself. I felt as if I was being chased by a black hole that would swallow me whole. Finally, when I was 25, I decided that this living hell had to end – I was going to kill myself.

Fortunately, I never got the chance. That night, I opened my bedroom door just as my 16-year-old sister Banu* opened hers. Her face was puffy, her eyes were swollen and she was sobbing. “I can’t stop, I don’t know why. I can’t make the crying go away,” she said.

I was horrified – someone I loved was going through the same hell I was. I knew that depression could be hereditary and that it wasn’t unusual for more than one family member to suffer from it. But I was so consumed with my own problems I had failed to see that Banu was suffering too.

This incident jolted me to my senses. The desire to help Banu prompted me to help myself.

I called my best friend Raj*, and he came over with another friend. I told them everything, and on their insistence I visited a Family Service Centre and arranged to start counselling. After a few sessions, my counsellor explained that my depression stemmed from the extremely negative and abusive family situation. The key was to acknowledge my problems and continue counselling.

I also joined a support group and started reading self-help books. More important, I made a decision to get out of depression. I forced myself to go out and make new friends. I also convinced Banu to start counselling, got her involved in community work and made her come out with my friends and I instead of being cooped up at home. Today, two years later, she is much better. She is taking a pre-university course and has a circle of supportive friends.

Depression is neither a choice nor a bad mood you can snap out of. It is an illness with an underlying cause. But no matter how much other people try to help, only the victims can help themselves get better. I am not saying that without help I would have been able to survive depression, but if I had chosen not to get out of it, I would not have.

My depressive bouts haven’t disappeared, but they are less frequent and less intense. I now recognise the early symptoms and take action to head them off, usually talking to a friend or writing about my feelings in my journal.

I have also become more positive. I am enjoying my life and my work as an English and Science teacher at a tuition centre. It has not been easy to open up or share my feelings, but it’s getting easier all the time. And the best part is, I have been able to help Banu. I did lose myself, but I managed to find myself again.

* Names have been changed to protect privacy.

#RD-Asia #Finding Myself #Dahil Na-Inspire ako #:)))

2 weeks ago on 05/12/12 at 08:30am

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